Everybody Sees the Ants by A.S. King: A Letter

Dear Everybody Sees the Ants,

I don't know how to begin this. Perhaps that is the reason I have stalled writing this review. It's just so hard to write reviews of things I really love. I mean, I'm not sure if you'll make my favorite books' list, but you are a diamond in the YA rough. You deserve to be more popular.

This is going to be one of my more personal writings. I love writing and reading about personal connections to media, but I always feel a tad egotistical for inviting others to read about myself. But oh well, you're just a book after all.

I can't say I've had a Nader McMillan in my life, but I have been bullied. I was picked on in choir class for God knows what, but it damaged my confidence and I'm just getting over hearing the sound of my own singing voice. And then I met my boyfriend, who was picked on for God knows what too, but it damaged his confidence, in this case about his physical appearance. I've been there. Many of us have.

I've never been suicidal, but Lucky isn't painted as suicidal either. He expresses a wry, sheltered point of view, something that isn't annoying and is compelling. He doesn't sound depressed, but he is. I love the nuanced portrayal of Lucky.  Because I've had troubles myself, during the summer, and during the time reading this, and during the time writing this. I'm a perfectionist and I get way too hard on myself. I also get too obsessive over making sure I appear strong enough and I feel guilty for dragging others down when I'm not. But I never contemplate suicide, for my own reasons.

I love my parents. I really do. They're not close to the friction between Lucky's parents, and I am grateful for that. But there are still disagreements and arguments and yelling between everyone in the household and sometimes I just want to get away. The adults in you are portrayed heartbreakingly flawed, and oh, I loved it.

You have some cruel plot twists, though. I say plot twists because they changed how readers saw the story, but they were probably more like character-twists because they were centered around the characters. The first one was just cruel but thematically resonant. The second one was just heartbreaking. And my jaw dropped on both.

I love how you aren't quite a love story. Lucky is fortunately self-aware about the nature of love and lust, and the relationships are complex. He knows that what he feels might just be movie-star love. He knows he's like a sibling to her, and it's that note he ends on. There's attraction and there's true caring, but nothing overpowers. Nothing is put into a box of "girlfriend" or "friend" or "sister."

I don't think I've ever read a book with magical realism before, but I enjoyed this. It isn't too strange, and it's just taking metaphors to a whole new level. I've always been interested in dreams and how they relate to our inner thoughts, and the ants! The ants were just plain amusing at times, whether they were forming a halo and singing, or throwing grenades, or spelling profanities. But that's not what they were about. They were about being the hardships that everyone must go through.

Everybody sees the ants.

To many happy rereadings,
Olivia

P.S. (from December 14, 2014): I realize I never actually wrote about specifically why I found this book so interesting and personal, and I still don't think I'm ready to share that. But to give you a general idea: this book put in me in the mind of someone who felt very real and very close to someone I know well, and so it was like learning a little bit more about him.